That Is Stupid #3: How do you make corn chowder?

1 can cream of celery soup
1 can cream of potato soup
1 can whole kernel corn
2 c. Half and Half
Salt and pepper to taste
1 can New England clam chowder

Combine all ingredients in large saucepan. Heat to blend, eat with crackers.

Yeah, eat with crackers, cracker. Why not just buy 5 cans of corn chowder? What kind of moron decided that corn chowder according to the above recipe was a good idea? The scary thing is that some people would consider mixing 4 cans of condensed soup together to be "cooking" and a "creative effort."

Well, I don't. And you shouldn't either.

Try the following, instead. It is a product of intelligence guided by experience.

Actual Corn Chowder

1 onion
2 cloves garlic
2 Tbsp olive oil
Sautee chopped onion and garlic in olive oil until onion becomes translucent.

3 cups milk
Place milk, onion, and garlic in a pot over medium heat.

2 potatoes
salt
black pepper
Cook cubed potato over high heat in the pan in which you cooked the onion. When browned, add to the pot.

3 ears corn
1 spring onion
Slice the kernels off of the cobs and into the soup. Put half of a sliced spring onion into the pot. Fry up the other half of the spring onion so that it is crunchy and use that as a garnish.

1 tsp cumin
1 tsp coriander
salt to taste
water
Make the soup taste nice, then let it cook for a few minutes. Add water to the desired consistency, or more milk if you'd rather.

If you're vegan, as I'm sure some of you are, substitute coconut milk for the cow's milk.