Ahar mateys! Come aboard an' try some of my delicious grog. Ahar! I mean coffee: coffee thick as a slurry o'fish bait rolling around in a ship's hold after a long voyage, with the delicate aroma of a skipper's armpits and the barest hint of o'stale crab meat.
Come meet me for a cup at your local supermarket. No autographs please! But I am available for children's parties. Ahar! I mean p-arghties, of course.
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